Rating: ****
Tags: Psychology, Self-Help, Personal Growth, Creative Ability, Success, Personality, Lang:en
Publisher: Broadway
Published: January 24, 2012
Added: September 5, 2019
Modified: September 7, 2019
Summary
Sigit Purwadi's
Library - At least one-third of the people
we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer
listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and
create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their
own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often
labeled "quiet," it is to introverts that we owe many of the
great contributions to society--from van Gogh’s
sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer.
Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled
with indelible stories of real people,
Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue
introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. Taking the
reader on a journey from Dale Carnegie’s birthplace to
Harvard Business School, from a Tony Robbins seminar to an
evangelical megachurch, Susan Cain charts the rise of the
Extrovert Ideal in the twentieth century and explores its
far-reaching effects. She talks to Asian-American students
who feel alienated from the brash, backslapping atmosphere of
American schools. She questions the dominant values of
American business culture, where forced collaboration can
stand in the way of innovation, and where the leadership
potential of introverts is often overlooked. And she draws on
cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to
reveal the surprising differences between extroverts and
introverts.
Perhaps most inspiring, she introduces us to successful
introverts--from a witty, high-octane public speaker who
recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking
salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions.
Finally, she offers invaluable advice on everything from how
to better negotiate differences in introvert-extrovert
relationships to how to empower an introverted child to when
it makes sense to be a "pretend extrovert."
This extraordinary book has the power to permanently
change how we see introverts and, equally important, how
introverts see themselves.
Amazon Best Books of the Month, January
2012: How many introverts do you know? The real
answer will probably surprise you. In our culture, which
emphasizes group work from elementary school through the
business world, everything seems geared toward extroverts.
Luckily, introverts everywhere have a new spokesperson: Susan
Cain, a self-proclaimed introvert who’s taken it upon
herself to better understand the place of introverts in
culture and society. With
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That
Can’t Stop Talking, Cain explores introversion
through psychological research old and new, personal
experiences, and even brain chemistry, in an engaging and
highly-readable fashion. By delving into introversion, Cain
also seeks to find ways for introverts and extroverts to
better understand one another--and for introverts to
understand their own contradictions, such as the ability to
act like extroverts in certain situations. Highly accessible
and uplifting for any introvert--and any extrovert who knows
an introvert (and over one-third of us are introverts)--
Quiet has the potential to revolutionize the
“extrovert ideal.”
–Malissa Kent
Amazon Exclusive: Q & A with Author Susan
Cain
Q: Why did you write the book?
Q: What personal significance does the subject have
for you?
Q: Was there ever a time when American society valued
introverts more highly?
Q: You discuss how we can better embrace introverts
in the workplace. Can you explain?
Q:
Quiet offers some terrific insights for the parents
of introverted children. What environment do introverted kids
need in order to thrive, whether it’s at home or at
school?
Q: What are the advantages to being an
introvert?
By Susan Cain
Introduction
At least one-third of the people we know are introverts.
They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading
to partying; who innovate and create but dislike
self-promotion; who favor working on their own over
brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled
"quiet," it is to introverts that we owe many of the great
contributions to society-from van Gogh’s sunflowers to
the invention of the personal computer. Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled
with indelible stories of real people,
Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue
introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. This
extraordinary book has the power to permanently change how we
see introverts and, equally important, how introverts see
themselves.
Questions and Topics for Discussion
Based on the quiz in the book, do you think
you’re an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert?
Are you an introvert in some situations and an extrovert
in others? What about the important people in your
lives—your partner, your friends, your kids? Which parts of QUIET resonated most strongly with you?
Were there parts you disagreed with—and if so,
why? Can you think of a time in your life when being an
introvert proved to be an advantage? Who are your favorite introverted role models? Do you agree with the author that introverts can be
good leaders? What role do you think charisma plays in
leadership? Can introverts be charismatic? If you’re an introvert, what do you find most
challenging about working with extroverts? If you’re an extrovert, what do you find most
challenging about working with introverts? QUIET explains how Western society evolved from a
Culture of Character to a Culture of Personality. Are
there enclaves in our society where a Culture of
Character still holds sway? What would a
twenty-first-century Culture of Character look like? QUIET talks about the New Groupthink, the value system
holding that creativity and productivity emerge from
group work rather than individual thought. Have you
experienced this in your own workplace? Do you think your job suits your temperament? If not,
what could you do to change things? If you have children, how does your temperament
compare to theirs? How do you handle areas in which
you’re not temperamentally compatible? If you’re in a relationship, how does your
temperament compare to that of your partner? How do you
handle areas in which you’re not compatible? Do you enjoy social media such as Facebook and
Twitter, and do you think this has something to do with
your temperament? QUIET talks about “restorative niches,”
the places introverts go or the things they do to
recharge their batteries. What are your favorite
restorative niches? Susan Cain calls for a Quiet Revolution. Would you
like to see this kind of a movement take place, and if
so, what is the number-one change you’d like to see
happen?
“A superbly researched, deeply insightful, and
fascinating book that will change forever the way society
views introverts.”
From the Hardcover edition.
Amazon.com Review
A: For the same reason that Betty Friedan
published
The Feminine Mystique in 1963. Introverts are to
extroverts what women were to men at that time--second-class
citizens with gigantic amounts of untapped talent. Our
schools, workplaces, and religious institutions are designed
for extroverts, and many introverts believe that there is
something wrong with them and that they should try to
“pass” as extroverts. The bias against
introversion leads to a colossal waste of talent, energy,
and, ultimately, happiness.
A: When I was in my twenties, I started
practicing corporate law on Wall Street. At first I thought I
was taking on an enormous challenge, because in my mind, the
successful lawyer was comfortable in the spotlight, whereas I
was introverted and occasionally shy. But I soon realized
that my nature had a lot of advantages: I was good at
building loyal alliances, one-on-one, behind the scenes; I
could close my door, concentrate, and get the work done well;
and like many introverts, I tended to ask a lot of questions
and listen intently to the answers, which is an invaluable
tool in negotiation. I started to realize that there’s
a lot more going on here than the cultural stereotype of the
introvert-as-unfortunate would have you believe. I had to
know more, so I spent the past five years researching the
powers of introversion.
A: In the nation’s earlier years it
was easier for introverts to earn respect. America once
embodied what the cultural historian Warren Susman called a
“Culture of Character,” which valued inner
strength, integrity, and the good deeds you performed when no
one was looking. You could cut an impressive figure by being
quiet, reserved, and dignified. Abraham Lincoln was revered
as a man who did not “offend by superiority,” as
Emerson put it.
A: Introverts thrive in environments that
are not overstimulating—surroundings in which they can
think (deeply) before they speak. This has many implications.
Here are two to consider: (1) Introverts perform best in
quiet, private workspaces—but unfortunately we’re
trending in precisely the opposite direction, toward
open-plan offices. (2) If you want to get the best of all
your employees’ brains, don’t simply throw them
into a meeting and assume you’re hearing
everyone’s ideas. You’re not; you’re
hearing from the most vocally assertive people. Ask people to
put their ideas in writing before the meeting, and make sure
you give everyone time to speak.
A: The best thing parents and teachers can
do for introverted kids is to treasure them for who they are,
and encourage their passions. This means: (1) Giving them the
space they need. If they need to recharge alone in their room
after school instead of plunging into extracurricular
activities, that’s okay. (2) Letting them master new
skills at their own pace. If they’re not learning to
swim in group settings, for example, teach them privately.
(3) Not calling them “shy”--they’ll believe
the label and experience their nervousness as a fixed trait
rather than an emotion they can learn to control.
A: There are too many to list in this short
space, but here are two seemingly contradictory qualities
that benefit introverts: introverts like to be alone--and
introverts enjoy being cooperative. Studies suggest that many
of the most creative people are introverts, and this is
partly because of their capacity for quiet. Introverts are
careful, reflective thinkers who can tolerate the solitude
that idea-generation requires. On the other hand,
implementing good ideas requires cooperation, and
introverts are more likely to prefer cooperative
environments, while extroverts favor competitive ones.A Reader’s Guide for
Quiet:The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t
Stop Talking
Review
—
Gretchen Rubin, author of
The Happiness Project
“
Susan Cain is the definer of a new and valuable
paradigm. In this moving and original argument, she
makes the case that we are losing immense reserves of talent
and vision because of our culture's overvaluation of
extroversion.
A startling, important and readable page-turner that
will make quiet people see themselves in a whole new
light.”
—
Naomi Wolf, author of
The Beauty Myth
“Think Malcolm Gladwell for people who
don’t take themselves too seriously. Mark my words,
this book will be a bestseller.”
—
Guy Kawasaki, author of
Enchantment
“Susan Cain has done a superb job of sifting
through decades of complex research. . . .
This book will be a boon for the many
highly sensitive people who are also
introverts.”
—
Elaine Aron, author of
The Highly Sensitive Person